I believe in taking children to cemeteries. I believe in including them in funeral ceremonies & the rituals of death - not to frighten or alarm them, but to teach them that dying is a part of life and that grief is a part of love.

Ever since she was tiny, I’ve taken my Sadie to the graves of our beloveds - we speak their name and share their stories. We clean their headstone and freshen up their flowers. I tell her how much they would have adored her.

Death doesn’t have to be a hidden from our children. Often their natural curiosity & wisdom reminds us how simple it can be. Our beloved dead are still a part of our lives.

Sadie will grow up knowing that it’s ok to miss the ones we love, and that tending to their memory in these simple ways is an act of devotion that enables our grief to move and evolve. Through these moments, I hope she learns that grief is not something to fear. That tending to our beloveds is also tending to our grief. These small acts - brushing leaves from a grave, laying down flowers, lighting a candle, telling a story - are simple rituals that allow our grief the space to breathe and allows our love to keep loving.

When we welcome children into these spaces - into the rawness and tenderness of life’s endings — we show them that love is stronger than death. We give them tools to hold their own grief when it comes, as one day it inevitably will.

Let the children come. Let them see. Let them learn how we can continue loving beyond life. 💐